How I learned to be present (for a moment)

Whenever I talk about parenting I’m acutely aware that some people reading this may have mixed feelings towards the subject for so many reasons. So I try to share my experience with sensitivity to this, whilst being honest about my own journey and how it relates to my yoga practice, because for me the two are inextricably linked!

Each school holiday I’m reminded of so many lessons, but the one that’s stood out this Easter has been presence, something inherent to yoga. I have my daughter for most of the school holidays, and so work naturally goes out the window. But more and more, my mind stays focused on her rather than stressing about deadlines and the work I ‘should’ be doing.

I’m not sure if yoga has taught me this presence or if motherhood has. I don’t know if it would be the same if I had more than one child (probably not!!). But I do know that when I manage to just be here, fully immersed in what we are doing together, fully engaged, everything is easier!

Our state of mind can have such an impact on the people around us, and vice versa. As a single parent, I am acutely aware of this because there’s rarely anywhere to hide if I’m having a challenging day, no one to pass the baton to whilst I hide in a bath! And I don’t want my stresses or concerns to somehow spill over into my daughter’s world. Sometimes it’s inevitable, but the situation has made me so much more conscious of how I manage these stresses so that they don’t become bigger than they need to be.

I’ve worked hard to create a business that gives me a degree of security whilst also giving me all the freedom I need, so that I can step away in the school holidays without feeling too worried. But I’ve also worked hard on my mindset. It’s a work in progress, for sure, but this Easter I feel like I’ve nailed it (for now, anyway!).

I know so many of my students need the flexibility that I do, which is why I’m so committed to offering yoga teacher trainings courses that are adaptable.

My flexible self paced yoga teacher training is here whenever you’re ready. The hybrid version starts in June, which includes some live training, a start and end date and some accountability as you work through the content in your own time. And the in person training starts in Sussex this Winter, still with my usual supportive and understanding ethos.

And if you’re a qualified yoga teacher, my self paced 300 hour Yoga Teacher Training is launching this Summer, with self paced and hybrid online modules that you can take whenever you’re ready.

For me anyway, a key part of feeling calm is knowing I have options, some kind of structure and a lot of flexibility. If this resonates, I’d love to hear from you!

The difference between listening to your body and hearing it

I woke up this morning thinking about the difference between being able to listen to your body and being able to hear it - and there is a distinct difference. I'm wondering if it's something other people think about?!

One of my siblings and I's favourite movies growing up was White Men Can't Jump. In it, Wesley Snipes says to Woody Harleson, who was playing Jimi Hendrix in the car: "You can listen to Jimi, but you can't hear him" and I have never forgotten this - just because you're listening, it doesn't mean you're hearing. 

I'm currently writing content for my 300 hour yoga teacher training, exploring how as teachers (and students) we regularly say to people to listen to their bodies, do what feels comfortable, do what feels right etc. But a lot of people don't know what it is they're even listening for, and some aren't able to hear it. It makes this concept pretty devoid.

We can listen to something and notice it in the background, but that's not the same as actually feeling it, tuning in, understanding and experiencing. This isn't so easy to do, especially with our bodies. So many of us go about life in a state of semi-stress. We're distracted by technology, work, life and it takes us away from ourselves. Furthermore, when people have experienced trauma they sometimes dissociate from their bodies, making hearing it's signals even harder. And there can be a discomfort in re-connecting that must be approached with care too. 

We also exist in a culture that encourages us to push ourselves further and further, to keep striving, keep climbing up the mountain of capitalist life. There is truth in the idea that growth happens outside our comfort zone, but are we differentiating 'good stress' from pain or exhaustion? Often, no. 

So what can you do instead of flippantly saying 'listen to your body' or 'do what feels right for you'? (and I'm guilty of this too) What can you do as a yoga student?

As a teacher, explain what you are asking people to listen for - sounds simple! 

And as students, get curious about the sensations in your body. Try to take the emphasis away from whether or not you can make a certain shape and instead see if you can focus more on how that shape feels inside your body. If there's sharpness, tingling, shooting sensations etc, always stop. But even if there's simply a slight discomfort, pull back for a moment. Breath. Ask yourself why you even need to go further. Perhaps this will be enough for your body to release into the position you are trying to move into. Perhaps it won't. 

Being able to 'hear' our bodies takes time. It asks us to slow down, especially in our yoga practice. But when we commit to this, our bodies hold so much wisdom. There's a saying 'the body knows before the mind does', but so often we second guess our bodies, listen to our heads, analyse our way out of things, and then realise our bodies knew all along. 

So, perhaps this is my invitation to you - especially as we begin to wind down for the year. To slow down a bit, sit in your body, and really start to hear it. 

I'll be exploring this a little more in my last class of the year, next Wednesday 17th December. You're welcome to join me! >>>

p.s.. if, like me, you find this stuff fascinating, you can delve into it all more on my upcoming 300hr yoga teacher training, starting in March >>>

And if you're not yet a yoga teacher, maybe it's time? 200hr YTTs start in January in Sussex and online >>>

Hybrid YTT starts in January, and self paced starts whenever you feel ready!

Exhaling to reduce stress

Our breath is a pretty powerful tool to support our mental and physical wellbeing. It’s fundamental to our yoga practice, and it’s often said that without the breath there is no yoga; the asanas become just shapes. However, when thinking about the breath it’s the exhale that plays a major role in how we feel and it can be really helpful for us to focus on it!

When we inhale the intercostal muscles contract to expand the ribcage, the diaphragm contracts to move down, and the lung cavity increases. Air moves in due to the change in pressure. This is an ‘active’ part of the breath and it’s linked to the sympathetic nervous system and our stress response.

In contrast, when we exhale the intercostal muscles relax and the ribcage moves back in, the diaphragm relaxes and recoils, the lung cavity decreases and air is pushed out. This part of the breath is usually ‘passive’, the body is relaxing and it is linked to the parasympathetic nervous system. So, when we focus on this exhale we are tuning into the rest and digest response.

When we’re under stress our breathing rate increases and there is an emphasis on short sharp inhales. However when we’re calm our breathing rate decreases and we usually breathe more fully and deeply, with longer exhales. When we do breathing practices that focus on the exhale and lengthening it, we can essentially ‘trick’ our nervous system into thinking we’re calm. Our sympathetic nervous system begins to dial down and we start to relax. Research also shows that breathing out for a bit longer than we breathe in helps to tone the vagus nerve, which supports how we manage stress.

During times of stress, or even during exercise, shallow breathing can lead to more residual carbon dioxide in the lungs. A build up of this can make us feel agitated, and it’s why we often sigh; to release all the residual waste gasses and make space for more oxygen to enter the lungs. The oxygen is then transported to the cells in our body and brain, helping us to function better, feel calmer and think more clearly.

Focusing on the exhale is a great way to use the breath to support your body and mind. A simple way to start is to just notice the breath, and begin to see if you can breathe out for a bit longer. Begin to breathe, noticing the length of each inhale and exhale. You can count in your head if this feels ok for you, but some people find that counting actually stresses them out!

Once you’ve noticed your breath you can work towards using a 2:1 ratio, so you're breathing out for twice as long as you're breathing in, if this feels comfortable for you. A few other ways to extend your exhale include blowing through pursed lips or sighing the breath out. You could even have a go at interrupted inhale, where you breathe in a little then pause, then breathe in a bit more, and then breathe out fully (2 sips of breath in, 1 full breath out). This is a technique I use when running to prevent my heart rate spiking, although I’m not sure how well I’ve mastered it!

We cover all of this and more on my new Restorative Yoga Teacher Training, which focuses on using yoga and the breath, mindfulness and meditation to support the nervous system and help people to rest and restore. The course can be taken:

• Self paced, start any time OR

• This September with two weekend training days live on Zoom

You can find out more about this course by following the link below, or get in touch!

Embracing change and growing older

One of my favourite Hindu goddesses is Akilhandeshwari, the goddess of ‘never not broken’ (or in other words, always broken). I’m sure I’ve written about her before; she rides a crocodile, harnessing the fears and challenges of life and using them to propel her forward. She’s a reminder that life is constantly in flux, and that it’s in the moments when things fall apart that we have an opportunity to grow, encouraging us to embrace those moments.

I turn 40 in a few days and I feel like the page has most definitely turned on one chapter of my life over the last year (#divorce!) This new decade is about something quite different to the last one, although I’m not completely sure what that is yet. But again I come back to Akilhandeswari; the flux of life, of breaking and rebuilding, harnessing our fear and riding it. And I come back to the idea of growth as we move from where we’ve come from to where we’re going. It might be a new chapter, but it’s the same book!

Whether it’s a change of circumstances, location, job, there are so many things that shift as we move through life; nothing ever stays the same. We can chose to live in the past, trying to hold on to the old chapters (which I’ve definitely been guilty of at times!) or we can turn the page and start to write the new one. When things feel like they’re falling apart, we can resist it or we can ride it. Either way, I’m not sure we can stop things changing.

Yoga gives us a lot to draw from during these times. From observing some incredible teachers who are quite a bit older than me, I know that yoga helps us to move through life with more physical ease and strength, which no doubt serves us in later years. It gives us mental flexibility which hopefully helps us to navigate changes more calmly. But there is also a lot to learn from the deities, rituals and the lessons they have to offer. Sometimes simple stories like that of Akhilandeshwari remind me that what I’m experiencing is normal, in fact so normal it was written about hundreds and hundreds of years ago and still relevant today! Whether you’re facing a new chapter yourself or reflecting back on how you’ve managed the turning of pages in your own life, perhaps there’s something you can also gain from this.

I’m also reminded of these two poems by Rupi Kaur, which sum up how I feel about another decade…!

Why train to teach yoga?

enquire about yoga teacher training

For those of us who practice yoga regularly, we feel it’s benefits; that’s why we practice. Some of us reach a point where we want to deepen our understanding of yoga, perhaps sharing it with other people so they too can experience all the positives it has to offer. This is where the Yoga Teacher Training comes in.

Training to become a yoga teacher is about more than gaining a qualification or a new career. Yoga is a way of life, and the more we practice it the more we start to realise this. For me personally, I know that what began as a purely physical practice quickly grew into a way to:

• honour my body

• cultivate self worth

• self acceptance

• balance my nervous system

• help me to feel connected to myself and the world around me… the list goes on.

Yes I learned how to do some fancy yoga poses, but I discovered, and continue to discover, so much more.

If you’ve reached a point where you, too, are recognising all these other facets of yoga and noticing the positive impact it’s having on your life, the next step may be to join a yoga teacher training course. Plenty of people do the trainings with no intention of teaching, at least not initially. A yoga teacher training gives you time and space to delve deeper into yoga as a whole practice, lifestyle and philosophy, and this is often hugely transformational on a personal level.

One of my recent graduates commented:

‘I don’t know exactly what’s changed for me, but something has’

and many have told me what a life changing experience the course has been.

Personal growth is one of the outcomes of a sustained yoga practice, and the more we learn about it the more we grow. It is also an incredible gift to be able to share with other people, and this is why so many trainees end up teaching yoga even if they had no intention to when they signed up to the course. Yoga is empowering, it’s something you can do on your own, anywhere, without any equipment. It’s accessible to everyone; you can challenge yourself physically with asanas or focus on breathing and meditation (which arguably challenge many of us more!)

Most importantly, yoga works!

Yoga has been well documented to have a powerful effect on our nervous system and mental health as well as improving strength and flexibility. The philosophical element of yoga can help improve people’s self worth, self confidence and feelings of being connected, both to themselves and the world around them. This connection is our yoga.

To be able to share all of this with other people is a privilege but it’s also something that’s much needed. The world needs as much yoga as it can get right now, at least in my opinion! This is why I’ve created two teacher training courses this year.

The in person teacher training is:

• based in Worthing, West Sussex,

• gives you the opportunity to learn in person with other students

• one weekend a month, allowing you to fit the training into your work and family life.

The online teacher training offers:

• flexibility as you can join us from anywhere!

• runs one day a week, during school hours and term time only

• perfect for people, like myself, who are juggling the school run and a busy life!

Whichever option suits you best, there is a course out there for you, whether it’s one of mine or a different school. Taking the plunge can be daunting but I know from seeing so many trainees do it, it is an experience that will not only change your life but the lives of all the people you go on to teach.

Below are some comments from a few more of my graduates:

“A really well paced course, I never once felt under pressure to complete anything. Lovely nurturing , interesting and informative teaching style.”

— Karen Warland

“The course has definitely helped and although i can’t put it in words very easily, I feel a different person after the course than before. ”

— Katrina Perkinson

“The environment that has been created within the course has been amazing! The course is really well set out, I found everything really interesting and liked that we got to practice teaching from the first weekend.”

— Nicola Simmons